Saddle up Voyeurs ‘cos this one’s a doozie…
I’m in the process of building up a collection of the most awesome swimsuits I can find, ready for a vacation in just a couple of months. So far I’ve amassed a pretty fine suite of swimwear including some super cool high leg, slogan one pieces and some weirdly dramatic ones that are purely there for the spectacle. Anyway, that all pales in comparison when you see what I came across this morning; it’s quite possibly the best worst swimsuit you’ve ever seen.
Named ‘The Sexy Chest’, It’s both glorious and hideous in equal measure and I’ve never put anything in my cart so quick in all my life. You’re looking at a swimsuit that’s been screenprinted with a hairy chest, complete with hairy nips and bellybutton. It comes in three skin shades so you can really perfect that nude look whilst strolling on the beach. Oh yes, this one is special, it even has hair on the butt so you can keep all eyes on you as you walk away. For what it’s worth, I love this piece as much as I hate it and am sat now debating whether to hit ‘Pay Now’ on the Beloved Shirts website and part with the £35 it costs.
Feast your eyes on this Voyeurs, it’s one you’ll need to look at more than three times and if you hate it, you’ll realise when you’re still thinking about it tomorrow that it’s genius and you just maybe, actually love it. It’s definitely part of the Ugly Clothing movement and a poor excuse for you to embrace the #FreeTheNipple campaign, once you get over it’s weirdness. I’m not so sure I’d hit up The Mineral House in it, but, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I’m actually genuinely contemplating it as beachwear. In the Real World however, I’m pretty certain Mama Tenenbaum would be absolutely horrified and ban me from the pool. worth it? Probably.
Gross? Absolutely. Weird? definitely. Genius? 100%. In your face Instagram, this swimsuit is gonna be all over you throughout the Summer.