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Categories: The Glorious North East

Getting Down & Dirty with The North East Adult Pantomime!

Christmas and New Year are over, party season has well and truly wrapped and some of us might even be balls deep into Dry January by now and wondering just how many days there are in January anyway… The point being, it’s a long miserable, cold month that seems to deplete our finances faster than any other and leaves us lacking in motivation despite the best efforts of our neighbourhood gyms to entice us to get up off or butts and do something.

Well, if you’re looking for something to round off January and pick you up out of this funk, then I might just have a stellar recommendation for you.

I was recently invited to the press night for The North East Adult Pantomime, if you’re wondering what exactly that is, it’s the Ronseal of descriptions, it really is an incredibly adult pantomime and a rip-roaring night. Seriously I was crying with laughter more than once.

So it goes without saying that this is an over 18s event and you need to be prepared for crude humour and language that would make your mum blush, it’s in your face, but also full of heart. Like any other seasonal panto, this one has a story and we follow Big Dick Whittington as he leaves the Big Smoke to head for Geordieland with his loyal and ever glamorous sidekick Pussy Twat played by Michael Marouli. Katie Price stars as the villainous Queen Rat and even belts out a few tunes to great effect.  Cast as a parody of herself, she manages to charm the audience even on the rare occasion she fluffs her lines. She manages to improvise well adding something of a real human, endearing touch and seems to be having great fun on stage. I did get to hang out with her after the show but I can’t even bring myself to show you any of the photographs as I look like a balloon with eyes and she looks, well, fabulous, even in sweats.

Amongst the naughtiness and piss taking there are some striking moments, the cast is just the right amount of camp and has some surprisingly talented singers – look out for female lead Alice singing their version of Defying Gravity from Wicked, it’s seriously good and the background scenery whilst very minimal manages to still be effective adding depth to the small stage area.

The venue for this David Ducasse (Scooch) penned production is The Exchange 1856 in North Shields, a place I hadn’t been to before tonight and one that is not dissimilar in style to The Firestation in Sunderland although the performance area is smaller.

The production itself is excellent, there’s a story loosely based on a fairytale and there’s an impressive cast who can easily pack out a room but these performers deserve a better show space. The Exchange 1856, whilst a lovely place to visit, doesn’t lend itself particularly well to pantomime with it’s flat sitting area and off-balance acoustics, it would be great to see the same show in a bigger venue with banked seating that gives a full view of the stage and cast.

I feel it’s important to mention again that this is an adult pantomime with adult themes, visuals and it’s heavy on sexual content although this is parodied so isn’t vulgar, more night out with your mates banter after a few Neckoils. Would I recommend it? Absolutely! It’s fun, it’s rude and it’s the perfect antidote to the January blues. It’s on a very limited run though, just four days (although there are two shows per day) finishing this Sunday January 28th, so my best advice? Grab a group of your best pals and get tickets whilst you can, it really will pick you up and it’ll definitely give you something to talk about for at least the next week. I can guarantee you’ll be referencing Peter the Pervert for a little while at least.

Tickets available here

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